Husband: What shall we do for Valentines Day?
Wife: What we always do.
Husband: Which is?
Wife: You know, say we're not doing anything, then rush out to the shops at the last minute to buy each other something - ANYTHING - so it doesn't feel like a normal work day.
Husband: Hmmph. We're not doing that this year.
Husband: So what shall we do then?
Wife: How about fight about your daily fruit and veg intake?
Husband: Excellent, I'll get the wine. It's made of grapes.
Wife: That's just fruit. What about the veg?
Husband: I'll eat a cabbage after.
Wife: What, a whole one?
Husband: For you, yes.
Wife: I love you.
Husband: I know.